Science

Lucas and I continued our science-quest tonight by learning about crazy weather. We watched tornados, hurricanes, earthquakes, and tsunamis (the last two not really being weather). He was fascinated. 

It's funny to me how he can be afraid of an imaginary monster, but not afraid of those real-life things that scare the hell out of me.

Stubborn

It's been a rough year for us, now four-years-old. Lots of battles. Who is stronger?  Often times it's Lucas.  

It's WAY different being a parent than a teacher with a stubborn child. The kids you teach rarely have those moments engrained in your head of firsts and tomorrows and joys and disappointments. In other words, your kids have more power over your emotions as a parent. As well it should be.

And, much to the disagreement of the opinions that circle around me as we struggle (because we all have those opinions about what will make someone else's kid better behaved), I refuse to discipline in a way that's disrespectful or not at least somewhat logical. I'm not going to spank. I'm not going to spit back. I'm not going to leave him in his room all day without toys for eternity. But I will follow through and I will be consistent and I will try my hardest.

I'm stubborn too. So is Brian. We're both a different kind of stubborn and if left unchecked, can lead to bad things like lack of self-reflection, admitting fault, and the end of a marriage.  Gulp.  So, I check myself a lot. And I know it has some pretty severe repercussions, if used unwisely.

But it's also awesome. It helps me persevere and keep moving. It can keep me on that one last thread of hope in a situation that's almost hopeless. And ultimately, I'm glad Lucas is stubborn. My questioning, sometimes defiant nature and Brian's confident, boisterous arguing. 

So. Much. Passion. In. This. Kid. 

I can't think of two better parents to guide him.  I can't think of two better parents to learn A LOT in the next 18 years about themselves.

Easter Surprise!

So, I got my tax return and I thought I'd spring for a few new Thomas Trains for Lucas' Easter basket.  A little pricey, but worth the happy face!

He was at Brian's this weekend so I took them out of the packages (because, duh, the Easter Bunny doesn't give gifts in packages). I got busy and put them on my bed, piled under a blanket. I had every intention to move them.

I'm sure you can see where this is going.

Megan was over and the three of us were playing a board game that Lucas was intent on winning. When Megan and I "took" his cards away, a tantrum ensued. A big one.  He wandered to the back of the house crying and yelling that he was "too mad".  

He said he needed to take some space and he was going to do it on mommy's bed. Did I think about the Easter goodies? No.

After a minute of tantruming in my bed, Megan and I heard delighted giggles from the bedroom. Lucas was laughing.  Then I knew.  Discovery.

"What are THESE doing here?! (Giggle) Rocky?! Diesel 10?! (Giggle, giggle)  Mommy?! What are these doing in here?!"   

He was so damn happy!! No more tantrum. Board game woes were over. Megan and I were hysterically laughing, because really, what else can you do?

I made up some lame story about how that sneaky bunny must have left some gifts early. "He must have come verrrrry early in the morning!" Lucas says. 

In any case, Lucas fell asleep joyous with his trains. I learned an important lesson about hiding the loot!

What's happening?!

Come on Jamie! Keep up on the blog!

Here are some ramblings, with pictures!

We went to Menchies tonight. Mommy and Lucas date. He was sad Megan couldn't go because, "Megan really likes ice cream."

Lucas riding his "horse" into school yesterday. Just for the record, I was also galloping on my "horse". Our horses were curved wooden blocks. My favorite thing? Lucas yelling, "Nee haw!!" through the lobby of the Y.

Our new favorite bedtime book.  I have to count all 20 train cars every night.

We're starting T-ball in April!!! 

What a silly boy!!

Best frame of mind

One random day last week, while driving to the grocery store, Lucas said from. The backseat, "Mom, today is the bestest day!" And it was just a normal day. Kids teach you so much. I want to wake up and say, "Today is the bestest day!" Good thinking little man.

Let's get it together Jamie!

Megan told me that I must blog tonight.  I said to Lucas, "I need to update your blog."  He got this look on his face, very confused, and he said very slowly, "Blog?"  You know, the place where I write all about you and I?  The place you'll make me take down when you're a teenager?  So here I am Megan!

My little, tiny, tube-fed baby is now a big, chatty, smart three-year-old.  How'd that happen?  I know, I know.  It just keeps getting faster.  No one needs to tell me that anymore.  Rawr!

I'm having so much fun with Lucas right now.  We do lots of really fun things and he makes me laugh a ton.  He says the funniest things.  I try really hard to really listen to Lucas and not be that parent who just nods and says, "Uh huh."  But, my goodness, I feel like I'm being pulled in seven different directions between my work, housework, work, cooking, work, grocery shopping, work, stretching my thin budget, work, parenting, oh, and WORK.  I am extremely blessed to have a job where #1, I get to be in the same place with my son all day.  I hire all his teachers.  I know way more of what's going on than I would know if I was dropping him off in some random school.  #2, I get a 50% discount on childcare.  There's no way I'd be able to afford full-time childcare without this discount.  I don't qualify for DSHS assistance (by like, $50).  It's crucial for us and our financial survival.  And, #3, I get a huge amount of vacation and sick pay so when Lucas gets sick for 3 days in a row, like this week, I can actually afford to be gone (at least financially).

But, my job is brutally stressful.  I'm stretched thin.  I don't have enough help.  I don't have the resources to pay the staff what they deserve, which means they leave . . . a lot.  I have too much to do, which means I need to prioritize and some things get left behind.  This makes me look flakey and I can't succeed.  It's kind of a cycle.  I can never do my best when I don't have the resources to even get close.  But that feels like a reflection of my work ethic.

I try really hard to separate work and home life, but I have a job where that can creep in.  I get texts at night or in the morning.  People get sick.  People forget their key to the building.  So, the stress from work can creep into home.  I've made very significant strides in this since Brian and I were married.  I try very hard to take my vacation time, all of it, each year.  I have put way more responsibility on my teachers now than I used to.  But, it feels like where I've made strides to leave more at work, they've added on more responsibilities to my daily workload.

Is there a point to this bitching?  Yes.  I think my biggest struggle as a parent is that I don't have enough time to really play with Lucas as much as I want to.  I have double the responsibilities that a couple would because I am solely responsible for the cleaning, shopping, budgeting, cooking, you name it.  Everyone is always like, "Hey, Jamie, what are you going to do when Lucas is at his dad's this weekend?  Big plans?"  Ha!  Well, first they'll be a little bit of exciting GROCERY SHOPPING!  And then, VACUUMING!  And maybe, I'LL SLEEP TILL 6!  Well Jamie, why don't you go out and meet people, date?  Oh yeah?  Maybe like, at a bar (gross)?  With all my plethora of male friends?  With all the men I meet in my job?  No, no, no.  It's a lot harder than it seems.  I'm always looking at these women who jump back into relationships after a failed on, the single moms, and I am flabbergasted.  Where the hell are they meeting all these guys?  I think I might just be picky (although, to be fair, I've had like 0 chances to be picky, thank you).

In any case, after my rant, I use this time to cook and clean so that when Lucas comes home I can actually spend some time with him.  And even during that time I feel like I'm having to tell him that I've got to clean the kitchen for a few more minutes, and so on.  Maybe I just over think it.  I just feel like there has to be a better way for me to spend that quality time AND get that other crap done AND think about things like dating (because I really, really want to have more kids, and NOT by myself again).

I think my new anti-food diet is making me cranky!  And, shouldn't I be losing some pounds here?!  Come on!  Give a girl a break!  (:

Funny Lucas story to end the evening, because that's really what we all want to read, funny Lucas stories.  This summer, my friend Brianne was cooking for the Y.  While Lucas and I were eating breakfast one morning, at home, Brianne had called and said that she'd set off the fire alarm cooking because she'd burned something.  The fire department had to come and check the building out before her, the other teachers, and all the 1 and 2 year olds could come back inside.  I asked what she was cooking and she told me she was boiling carrots!  This was hilarious.  And Lucas thought it was funny too.  But this was in July-ish.  Almost 5 months ago.

Tonight, Lucas was pretend cooking.  He was making him and I carrots.  I was in the living room and he was in the kitchen.  He yelled to me, "Hey mom!  I'm making some carrots for us."  I said, "Ohh, Mmmm, thank you!"  And then he said, "But, don't worry, I not burn them!" His memory is impeccable.  Can I have some of what he's got?!

The growth and development of little kids is amazing, and my initial love for the subject has only multiplied since I've had Lucas.



Ps. Sorry for my rant!!

If nothing else . . .

If nothing else goes on here on these days that just fly by, I have to put the funny things Lucas says. Today there were a lot!

Lucas and Megan and I were discussing the goats that Rachel was telling Lucas about on Sunday (Josh and Wendy's). I asked Lucas if he was going to bring one home and he said, "Yeah." We asked him where he would keep a goat and he said, "In the closet".

I was reading Lucas this ridiculous book about a little boy learning to use the potty. We were discussing how peeing on the floor (one of Lucas' pastimes) was not ok. I said, "The carpet doesn't like pee very  much." He replied, "Yeah, the carpet not like pee, only cat hair." Ha!!

Elisha is in the hospital getting IV antibiotics for her leg (ouch) and we decided to make a card. Lucas painted it and I asked him what we should write inside. This was his message (the first two lines are all him. The last two took a little pulling): Good morning! Your picture is done. Are you okay? I love you Sheesha!

One of my favorite things Lucas does reminds me of the "age" we're living in. Very rarely does Lucas pretend to talk on the phone. Instead he takes my old cell phone (aka Lucas' toy) and sends "messages" to Miles, Easton, Daddy, and sometimes even one of the girls. He talks out loud as he does it, which is what I do when telling him I'm sending a message: ". . . I . . . am . . . coming . . . to . . . pick . . . you . . . up . . . Easton!"  I want him to know I'm sending messages for a reason, communicating something, instead of blindly pitter-pattering away on my qwerty keyboard, unaware of my surroundings.  It's important for me to teach Lucas to communicate, in a lot of ways, even via text.  (;