I just took Lucas to the doctor and they tortured him by putting cotton swabs and bulb syringes up and down his nose and throat to test him for RSV and influenza. It's Brian's Sunday, but he offered to let Lucas stay home with me so he could be more comfortable while he's sick.
The thing is, I'm so tired. I've been pulling in maybe 5.5 hours of sleep per night between all the breathing treatments, Lucas' schedule, cooking, cleaning and work. I'm really starting to feel it and that does no good for anyone. So I need a nap. I need Brian to take my very active, prednisone-d up toddler so I can sleep.
But when I just dropped him off with Brian, he cried hard and looked at me like, "Why are you torturing me too Mama? Don't leave me!". So now I feel terribly guilty.
Sigh. I'm trying to tell myself that I'm not putting my needs above Lucas' and that by taking a nap it's better for both of us . . . But it's not working . . . Dammit.
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